I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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