im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
