through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
