Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize