Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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