This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
