ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Randomize
