Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
