if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We're too hungover to prance.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize