After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Can Purell be used as lube?
I smell stomach acid.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
