do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
