We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Damn victory sex feels great
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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