He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
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Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
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She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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