And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
