then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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