Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
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My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
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This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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