break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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