why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
