Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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