You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
