I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
