I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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