I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
