Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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