you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
