i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize