When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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