you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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