my mouth tastes like poor choices
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Randomize
