dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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