Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
