Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
