Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
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i will never coherently bang her
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
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