He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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