im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
