Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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