Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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