I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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