how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize