I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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