If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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