It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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