Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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