my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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