i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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