Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
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I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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