I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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