She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
