I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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