my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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