thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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