He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
