I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
