we have pet lesbian snakes
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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