i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
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I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
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this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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