bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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