I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
