Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
