i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
