I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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