Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I wish you could order shots online.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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