He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
They have beer where we have blood.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
