I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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