i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize