Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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