people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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