You really coming over, don't trick.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
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I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
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HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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