I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
