trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
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does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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